I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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