he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
