why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
