the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize
