Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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