i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
How drunk are you?
Completed.
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