I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
