like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Randomize
