**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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