i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
