After last night, I could never be a politician.
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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