you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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