I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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