Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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