Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
