you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
