there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
