she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
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Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
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I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
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