I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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