if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
