We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
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