Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
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