Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
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we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
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we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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