i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Randomize
