i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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