Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
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