Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
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