butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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