theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
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