I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
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