also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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