he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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