Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
