her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
