dude i'm inner monologue high
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
