I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Randomize
