I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize