porn star boner night. come get it.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
