Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
