my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
FUCK WHALES
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
