I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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