I'm drive I can fine osifer
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
