i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
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I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
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She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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