is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
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I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
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I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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