never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
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