yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
