Non-Jews are for practice
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Randomize
