A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
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