it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
