i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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