you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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