So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
it's like iHOP with fire
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
