I like to think it a success when the cops are called
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
