dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
