hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
