for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
