it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Randomize