Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Randomize
