i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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