if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Randomize
