you guys were way drunker than both of me
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
