if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
