addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
