I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Randomize
