Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
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