Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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