i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
look no pants
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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