i think my mom watched the whole time
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Randomize
